Dirge 1

the blood that fills my heart
the water that fills my eye
the flesh that fills my brain
said no:
this world is just a lie.

what is real?
what's the truth?
if you ask the blatant question
God will blatantly not answer you.

it is the time.
i'll be the air
swept along with the wind
disappear
with no trace.

The Fear Of The Dark Will Not Make You See The Light

it is the time i say goodbye
goodbye to the sweetest dream i've ever had
in my life.

it is the time i say goodbye
goodbye to the times i've been wasting
am i in a deep loss?

it is the time i let it go
letting things that should go away go
am i strong enough?

for Lord, oh Providence
i ain't going to see the past no more.

if the Time is a concrete, I'll break it,
if the Time is a flow of water, I'll boil it
Make the Time disappear!
If only I were a mere human
Doesn't care about the Time
Only walking forward, forward and forward
Without Fear?
Oh I'm so afraid.

Paper, paper, oh dear paper
Blank and blank as blank paper
Paper, paper, is it better
If Time, indeed, were to disappear?

No.

The one who disappears
Is me.

Dagen Ati Bei Darak

munlah kenah, ne

ako bak mulik

mulik mapun lahabei

nyadin anak umit

pilak udik jawai nyilou

jawai suci, senyum

debei memikir hal dosa paala.

munlah kenah, ne

ako bak makau

aruh sama lahabei

pelik kedau sama lahabei

debei bingung nasang wang ati

dagen ati bei darak

darak mei nukut dunia.

munlah kenah, ne

ako bak patang

renah amau padang rumput

bersulihkan tanak

beratapkan langit

pilak manok tilieng baw ako

debei nasang beraie wang ati.

I Hate

I hate
This world of mine.
I hate
All the things that I've seen.
I hate
The Good and The Bad.
I hate
The Sky, blue and cracked.

If it ain't for you, my love
If it ain't for you, my heart
If it ain't for you, my sun
I'd die.

I hate
This world full of lies.
I hate
The Passage of Time.
I hate
This prison named World.
I hate
The foolishness within.

If it ain't for you, my light
If it ain't for you, my truth
If it ain't for you, my night
I'd die.

I hate
This feeling called Hate.
I hate
Myself for hating.
I hate
To be a human
The only thing
I would love is you.

If it ain't for you, my rose
If it ain't for you, my soul
If it ain't for you, my life
I'd die.

Bahtera Waktu

Bahtera waktu yang belayar tak berhenti
Tiada pelabuhan, tiada arah tuju
Penumpangnya tak bisa lari
Dan aku hanyalah seorang penumpangnya
Penumpangnya yang tak bisa lari.

Selau

selau
-tang ibak laengit
teleo makau
betis makat
kemalui timur

-bei pangai
keman a awan
kesingor tan
biah akeo

-jawai kaao
bei jumik senyeum
kalikah
jawai keo bei nou-nou?

-kaeo mei sigah
tapi matah nyileo
bei sinaer
kebuyak selau?
a kali.

-ke likou telou makau
senibal betis
agemkeo
geneggem agemmeo

-sadikkah bak akeo
menapser
kealus agemmeo
seninta kaeleo?

-diakkah bak akeo
mengarep
wang atikou
kelumit nasang
senayang sinta?

-kenah ageikah akeo
bearep
tang kaao
segala nasangmeo?



kemejuk
-aruh ih debei nou-nou
debei nawan debei tenunjuk
kelilahan kenesesat
debei agei jawai kelou

-tenudip amau likou
ibak laengit akeo pelou
terkedang dagen duah
pangai tan kesingor

-susui tang akeo sinta
kelou bei nasang sinta
anou dengah? kemudip ageika nasang ih?

-susui tang akeo kasih
kelou agei luk kenasih
anou dengah? kemudip ageika nasang ih?

-kaao murau
kenahka akeo pelibeo?
kemejuk angai
kelukka akeo pelibeo?



A Tileng (Nurafila)

-Biru a laengit
Biru a laut
Putik a awan

-Mejet a pangai
Mejet a silau
Mentari kunin

-Pautlah angaei
Akeo katileng
Ibakkeo pedan
Laut Kina Selatan.

-Manis a jawai
Manis a matah
Mereo Keling.

-Dadit a biah
Dadit a bbog
Jawak angaei.

-Pautlah angaei
Akeo kajapah
Wagen atikeo
Nurafila.





Kemejuk Keman Batang Rajang
-Bei neo wang atikeo?
Akeo pilak.
Enda bei neo.

-Alah bei barang
Nan keo beraie.

-Kemejuk keman batang Rajang,
debei tenawan bak menukut nasangkeo,
debei arah bak tenuju,
Kenahkah akeo terus kepamat?

-Mapun ujung dunia.

-Lau silih sunih berganti silih sunih,
Matari nait, alu labuk udik,
PAPAK!
Matai kelilahan nah.

The Little Girl

The Little Things

-The sun rises again.

With it the blue sky.

The moon disappears

And the day begins.

-Daily prayers to the Feelingless God

"O Allah give me a feeling."

Were answered in a tricky way

A pretty-eyed girl.

-I begin to wonder

What shall happen? And what will not?

The love that can blossom?

Or yet another breakdown?

-Big news don't matter to me

Nor does any other.

I have only myself

To blame for my sins.

-The pretty-eyed girl

Smiles in her different way?

The Signs of God?

The Tricks of the World?

-Blame it on the All-Seeing Eye?

Or blame Adam and Eva?

Blame the depressing government?

Or blame my own self?

-The little things of the life

Makes me wonder

If Allah the God really has plans

Or does these things spontaneously.

-In He I believe

To Him I worship

But I will only love

A female human.

-Could it be Her

The pretty-eyed girl

The short-statured girl

Is She the One who will set me free?

O, Allah, the Lord i can never understand.

In This World

-In this world I live

Painted with stains of sins

Yet I still want to be in His Grace.

-Where can I satisfy my thirst for love?

My love, where should I give?

Into hymns of poetic misery I cry.

-Do I exist to Him?

What am I to Him?

In this world I cry.

-Dearest Providence.

If the sun may shine

On this barren land;

-From the deepest, darkest part of my heart

I shall pray

Someone please set me free.

Goodbye, Sweet Time

-Say goodbye to the yesterday.

I ain't going to see you no more.

-Gone with you are the memories

Of a carefree world of me.

-Ain't got no love, no excitement

And surely no pain.

-Goodbye, sweet time,

I ain't going to see you no more.

Dream

-It felt like a dream.

To fall in love

Be unrequited again.

-Just like a dream to see you

Smile.

-As my hopes fade away

And time passed me by.

-It felt like dream, if I can tell you

My unrequited dream.

September

-September, how long I've known you?

I wonder how much time has passed.

-September, how longer do I have to wait

For my love to come.

-She's a pretty girl

The prettiest one I've ever seen

Since the angel of sleep

Left me for her sun.....

-She's a pretty girl

Yet another one that I can never get

And I don't know what to do now

Now I'm getting so tired......

-September, how long it has been

Since I last saw you.

-September. how funny my story is

Wonder if I can survive.

Language Is The Key

Even if Arabic is the language of Heaven,

English feels to me much closer and true.

Walaupun Inggeris bahasa dunia,

Melayu tetap bahasa hidupku.

Kali Melayu dao tang lingah,

Tapi Melanau agei asalku.

Foreword

This blog is for posting my poems........
.....well couldn't exactly call these "poems".
More like nonsensical words to me.

Wabillahi taufik wal hidayah.